I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
