last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
