Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
