There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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