she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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