and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize