i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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