I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
