I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
That reminds me...we need to get swords
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
