WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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