sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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