Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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