Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
A+ Viking dick
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
