I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize