I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
