im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
