$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
