You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
