She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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