ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
