Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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