so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
