Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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