I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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