does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
