He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
