i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The power of my boobs compel you
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
