$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
