Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
