I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
