she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
