Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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