There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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