i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
