There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize