No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
