birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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