Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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