I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
