Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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