forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you win again, gameday.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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