TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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