Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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