I am in a vortex of obligation.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
