proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The struggles of a small town man whore
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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