plz talk dirty to me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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