i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
