Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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