i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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