I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
