coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
