she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
A+ Viking dick
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
