what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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