gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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