now i know why i became what i already was.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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