We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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