I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
