Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize