i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Congratulations! We have a period
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