What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't put those talents on a resume
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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