she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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