We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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