haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize