I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
