I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
