Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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