I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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