You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize